1 // Differences
I am a Texan, an American, a daughter, a wife, a friend, a student, a dental hygienist, a female, and a caucasion. These basic labels are associated with my life, and yet I am so much more than these.
It is so strange how such seemingly simple labels can dictate opportunities and qualities of life.
Equality: a symbolic expression of the fact that two quantities are equal.
Differences: a point or way in which people and things are not the same.
We are all born differently so if you oversimplified us into a math problem the equal sign would never work. I think the beauty of humanity is that we are all built with different strengths, passions, experiences, and even appearances. As we begin to work together, the combination of our strengths can do and have done incredible things. To miss the value of our differences would be so very detrimental.
The assumption I keep running into, however, by using such a math-y term is that in a mathematical problem, if the numbers are not equal, then one is always greater. I think this is where culture and society get hung up. No one wants to be on the lesser end of the comparison, and patterned throughout human history one set of culture has sought to subdue another.
So what do we do with our differences of life? How can we level the playing field while appreciating the uniqueness of culture and experiences? Growing up my mom used to always tell me when we interacted with people who were different either in thought, culture, or appearance "They're not right, they're not wrong, they are just different." When we remove our desire to be on the greater side of the equal sign, we are freed to view differences with an understanding and learning heart.
Along with this, Andrew Solomon discusses the vertical and horizontal identities that shape us. But I feel that in view of ever occurring social injustices that greatly shape us there is but one more. Perhaps an oblique identity for what society tells us we are. And how in the world do we change society when it feels like an uphill battle to change ourselves?
"We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are"
This really resonates with me. So much of how I view the world is linked to not only where I came from, but also my experiences. As I am shaped by events or people, so is my perception of future event. I find myself being so frustrated when I finally become aware of an injustice that I have never seen before. I wonder how I can blissfully go about life while missing these huge deficits in our communities. Yet I also feel frustrated with loved ones who cannot see others past their religion or skin color. This quote lends a bit of grace to each person for why their perception is incorrect, and yet it also challenges me to search even more for other perspectives so that I can have a more well rounded view of the world and its trials. I hope that the frustration and tension I feel is the growing pains of a widening world view.
This blog post was so eloquently written, I honestly felt like I was reading poetry. The analogy that Amy drew between equality and the equal sign in a math problem could not paint a better picture of the way the uniqueness of our individual humanity is oftentimes ignored when we are divided and lumped into groups based on various aspects of our identities. She draws the point that our differences all hold an extremely important amount of value. I would venture further to add that we are all indeed different in the fact that we all have various talents and skill sets to bring to the table, but we are all also equal as those differences share an equal amount of value and no person lacks their individuality.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to this analogy, there was one question in particular that struck me as I read Amy’s post: “And how in the world do we change society when it feels like an uphill battle to change ourselves?” This question reminded me of a very similar question my mother always asks me when we discuss romantic relationships: “How do you expect to love someone and be loved by someone if you can’t even love yourself?” These questions are asked in entirely different contexts, however, the essence of their answers is very similar. You change yourself and you learn to love yourself one step at a time, from one experience to the next. The crazy thing about change though, is that it can happen in an instant, or it can take a lifetime to accomplish. So while changing ourselves and changing our world is a constant uphill battle, I think it is important to remember that as long as we keep moving forward, change will be accomplished
Amy, I really enjoyed reading your post! You pulled such thoughtful material from the text. Something that resonated with me was what you had to say about the competitive nature of people and not wanting to be on the lesser end of the equation. I think that changing that mindset is so valuable. I had read an analogy about a board game that made sense of how social inequality is not an issue of self-drive or motivation- they’re two separate entities. It’s that when you’re playing a game like Monopoly, the players are going to have varying amounts of success, but you wouldn’t start the game with some players at “go”, some players in jail, and others half way down the board. Prejudice is still incredibly systemic- in our laws, prisons, etc- so many drastic changes need to be made in order to have equality of opportunity.
ReplyDeleteI also empathize with the frustration you feel sometimes when dealing with loved ones or close relationships where people struggle to acknowledge their beliefs and views as oppressive and harmful to others as well as themselves. The quote from Andrew Solomon that you’re referencing absolutely helps in understanding other people’s prejudice. I think it’s also a call to be aware of our own. I think we all struggle with prejudice to some degree- even when we want to view ourselves as nonjudgmental. I think to move forward it’s important to constantly challenge our assumptions and openly acknowledge where we may be cultivating judgements and beliefs that are detrimental.
Amy,
ReplyDeleteI like how you started your post labeling all the things you are and what society considers you as. You are absolutely correct that sometimes labels can be the determining factor on being considered or included into society. I think our differences shouldn’t have to dictate our level of equality. I feel those terms should not coincide because one should have no influence over the other. For example, a difference between you and I could be that you like cheese and I don’t. So because of that difference should you get two sandwiches and I get one? I think equal is equal regardless of our differences. The analogy you made about the math equation was a great way to say how we always prefer to be the greater number. Speaking in that sense, equality would mean both of the numbers being the same so no one has to try and compete to be the bigger number. If the equation was equal then we would not have to worry about the smaller number. I also think having differences that may or may not be accepted by the dominant society should not raise or lower anyone’s number in the “equation”. Embracing different cultures, thoughts, and ideas would ideally be a great way to handle the differences in this country, but I know that is easier said than done. I think the more important question here is not how we get to the greater side of the equal sign, but what do we have to do to even out the equation?
Hi Amy,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I really like the name of your blog. "Are we equal yet?" is a great way to represent the end goal of this process of social justice that we are trying to bring forth in a casual and relaxed way.
I find it interesting that you chose to call "Texan, American, wife, daughter, etc" labels, instead of identities. Do you not identify with being all of those things? It's totally ok if you don't, I just found your choice of words intriguing. I usually see an "identity" as something I choose to identify with, and a "label" as something imposed by others on to me in a way to not acknowledge the multitudes of my existence.
I also love how you see diversity as the beauty of being human! I definitely see it that way as well, and love exploring other people's passions and understanding how they relate to them. Your comparison with the field of mathematics and when something is not equal, there's something that is greater than another is also on point. I totally agree that society gets hung up on that.
It's great that your mom passed on her views on people not being right/wrong but simply different. The other quote that you shared, "We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are" is so good, too! I had never thought of it that way but it makes perfect sense. I guess it's kind of a more holistic version of "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," that takes into account all the other things that we see, perceive, and interact with, that are not as simple as beauty. What a great mindset to have.
Cheers,
Mila
Thank you so much, Amy! Your post raises so many wonderful questions and insights for us all to consider as we begin this social justice journey together. Thank you to everyone who has shared their comments here - this is a great dialogue!
ReplyDeleteDear Amy,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate how you defined equality and difference. Sometimes going back to basics can really push a strong point across, like you successfully did. A strong opinion that I hold is that our differences make us progress in our relationships and as a society. We see eye-to-eye on how our differences make us beautiful.
"We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are". This is one of my favorite quotes. In one of my classes, we learned that our perception is our own reality. We each see and experience a small section of reality. I was impressed by your challenge to the to yourself when you said, "that quote lends a bit of grace to each person for why their perception is incorrect, and yet it also challenges me to search even more for other perspectives so that I can have a more well rounded view of the world and its trials". It is hard for us to notice oppression or inequality whenever it does not directly affect us. We have to learn through experience or be enlightened by someone else. It takes courage to admit ignorance.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I enjoyed them!
Emily